Sad Mother’s Day
I’m sitting here staring at a calendar that feels like it’s mocking me. Today is “Mother’s Day”, and for the fourth year in a row, I’m experiencing it through self care and ruminating on memories of laughter and normalcy with my only Miracle child, my baby boy, Reign.
Another Mother’s Day, and another year of a quiet house. The energy is heavy. No flowers. No handmade cards. And most importantly, no Reign.
When you’re a mother fighting for your child to come home, these holidays aren’t just “days off” they are painful reminders of every second of a milestone that is being stolen. It’s not just about the big Sunday in May; it’s about every week morning and night, every tooth that falls out, and every “first” that I’m forced to find out about second-hand. Reign is now a snaggle tooth 7-year-old year old handsome little boy who said he “waited for the tooth fairy and she did not come. She is not real.” I told him she brought the money to Mommy to save for him when he gets home…” The heartbroken eye contact told me that he did not believe me spoke volumes… Wednesday of last week.
In this “high-profile” fight for Reign, I’m done beating myself up. It is clear that while I’m fighting for my child, Detroit and Michigan officials are only interested in burying the truth I share in this space.
I am not merely surviving a Mother’s worst nightmare, it is not only an injustice, but it is illegal. Being a fit mother means I shouldn’t be writing a blog post about missing my child; I should be celebrating this “holiday” and tucking him into bed after a warm bath and a bed time story.
Every “adjourment” and every delayed hearing is a key contributor to milestones I don’t get back. While Detroit and Michigan Public officials go home to their families, I’m left documenting the truth and pushing for Reign’s Justice. After calling out their criminal misconduct, I have faced extreme retaliation. I am being flat out told that because department employees ‘do not like me,’ my child remains out of my home while we wait for the termination of paternal parental rights for Reign’s dad being a child rapist.
If you are also a Mom “Unmuted” and fighting a system that tries to keep you silenced, know that you aren’t alone. Missing these moments doesn’t make you any less of a mother. It makes you a warrior, like me. Like our babies. Document this day. Feel all the feelings. Sit with them and transmute them. Stay loud speaking your truth through posts, blogs, and the events you attend. And, most importantly, keep the Faith that our babies are coming home.
Moms Unmuted prays that this Mother’s Day is the last that we miss and the next will be a happy one.
-Moms Unmuted